Superhero Birth Stories

Written by Czarina Bowers

Czarina is a Birth and Postpartum Doula, Certified Lactation Counselor (CLC), and Infant Development Parent Coach. She is also our head techie and web doula and she is the proud parent of three fairly terrific children.

October 31, 2020

Superhero Birth Stories

Its All Hallows Eve and we’re dressing up the blog. Enjoy!


Batgirl: Among other gadgets, she’s got a TENS unit and she knows how to use it.

Bat Girl Tongue GIF - BatGirl Tongue Superhero GIFs

Poison Ivy: uses herbal concoctions to induce labor (and manage pain!)

poison ivy GIF

Aquagirl: Really doesn’t believe the ultrasound saying that she’s got low amniotic fluid. Denies an unnecessary induction.

Morticia Adams: Anesthesiologist walks in; “Would you like an epidural?” She responds, “Will it hurt more?”

Adams Family Morticia Addams GIF - AdamsFamily MorticiaAddams Morticia GIFs

Catwoman: having twins, decides that she doesn’t feel safe at the hospital, stops her labor, picks up Baby A, and proceeds to find a new birth space where she can be safe and alone.

Chilly In Here GIF - Chilly InHere Catwoman GIFs

Storm: tired of waiting for labor, changes the barometric pressure causing her waters to release. GAME ON

windy GIF

Jean Grey: faces transition. Fuck this. She’s the Phoenix. Theres no ring of fire stopping this birth.

Jean Grey GIFs | Tenor

Black Panther, T’challa: Doesn’t complain about six hours of hip squeezes. Hates being in the birth tub.

Black Panther, Shuri: Also hates the birth tub. And the shower. TENS is awesome. Wants to be alone. Likes counter-pressure on sacrum when she’s on hands and knees.

Pin on Comics, Toys, Gaming and all things Geeky

Spider Woman: sick of waiting for the squat bar. Spins herself a labor trapeze and a 10 foot rebozo. (Future baby-wearing pro)

Captain Marvel: 72 hour labor? She’s got nothing to prove. Epidural and a nap please?

Harley Quinn: 4 Day Induction. Never gets bored.

Suicide Squad Margot Robbie GIF - SuicideSquad MargotRobbie HarleyQuinn GIFs

Joker: Gracefully takes a throat punch when asked “why so serious?”

Seriously Im Not Even That Crazy GIF - Seriously ImNotEvenThatCrazy Joker GIFs

Black Widow: Doesn’t need the squat bar. Or the bed.

Elastigirl: Checks her own cervix. And also dilates on command.

Gamora: is asked to turn over for a Gaskin maneuver. Jumps into a triple double AND catches the baby in the air

star-lord GIF by Marvel

Mystique: Engorgement? Handled.

Rogue: probably shouldn’t elect for immediate skin to skin.

X-Men Disney GIF by Marvel

Sailor Moon: goes past her due date and gives birth during the full moon. SHOCKER

sailor moon feminism GIF

Beast: Isn’t about to let his partner go in for that 39-week induction over some sham-ass ARRIVE study. Also spent the last trimester becoming an Evidence Based Birth instructor.

X-Men Disney GIF by Marvel

Bouncing out of that induction like…

Pepper Potts: Assuming she’ll be handling the emotional labor *as per usual* doesn’t bother to consult with Tony about hiring a team of postpartum doulas.

Wonder Woman: uses the lasso of truth to ask her care providers if that “aging placenta” induction is really necessary.

Invisible Woman: Says, fuck these COVID restrictions. I’m walking the halls and getting my own damn ice chips. WHOS GOING TO STOP ME?

fantastic four omg GIF by Nerdist.com

She-ra: has no problem squatting for the duration of a 4 hour pushing stage

Register To Vote He-Man GIF by INTO ACTION

 

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