I didn’t think anything of my glucose tolerance test leading up to it. After all, I had no risk factors for it as far as I knew. I was 31, not a young mom, but not yet what the medical establishment refers to as a “geriatric pregnancy” by any means (seriously, fuck that term). I was reasonably fit and walked up to 6 miles a day. And honestly I had that “it won’t happen to me” mentality that so many first time parents adopt. I wreaked of pregnancy privilege. I don’t even know if that is a thing, but I had it. And man oh man, I took the diagnosis hard.
“There has to be a mistake of some sort.” I remember clearly expressing, to the exasperated nurse on the other line who
1) Probably didn’t care.
2) Had 9817236 other calls to make and things to do.
And 3) Already knew it wasn’t the crisis I was making it out to be.
But here is the thing. It was a crisis to me. I mourned the loss of what I considered the only autonomies I had left in pregnancy, which was what I ate. As a pregnant person you are always being poked, prodded, questioned, advised. You could cease to feel like an able-bodied adult if you listened to everything thrown at you in this time, but I digress. I adjusted of course, just like you dear reader, will adjust if this fate befalls you. And I am not here to tell you how to manage your GD. Maybe you have to have insulin. Maybe you are able to be diet controlled. Maybe everything you eat is perfectly in line with the “guidelines” and you still need insulin.
What I do want you to hear this, you are more than numbers on paper. It may not feel that way when you first start tracking everything, especially when you are learning how to navigate these new dietary guidelines. If you have to be on insulin, I promise your body isn’t failing you or your baby. Pregnancy is just this haywire time for our bodies, a beautiful chaos of events. Sometimes weird shit happens. Gestational diabetes is some of that weird shit.
Please take heart: you don’t have to let gestational diabetes run the next few weeks of your life. Yes, weeks. It generally disappears when your baby arrives stateside. With a little additional research, you will make it on through fine, yes with less cupcakes. Pick up a copy of Lily Nichols Real Food for Gestational Diabetes. You’ve got this. Remember a spike is a learning experience, not a failure. And if you have to sit down with a nutritionist that shows you little toy foods, remind them you are an adult that has been educating themselves and is here to participate in a discussion around your own health as well as the health of your baby.
You matter in this equation. You are more than numbers on paper!